Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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