She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
