I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
