When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
