I heard we made out
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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