doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
