it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
