Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
