naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
