I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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