but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
