You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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