Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
