Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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