I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I will be naked everywhere
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
