Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
