chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He shit in the fireplace
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Never underestimate the power of titties
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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