Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
