one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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