1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
