Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Plan B is the new Plan A
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She bit a glass in half.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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