yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
