Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
