return my video game
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
