Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
