THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
be right there i have to get my cape
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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