Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
