I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
