Cold hands, warm shart.
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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