He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
