Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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