i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I'm really busy with my period
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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