Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
