the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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