I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
