Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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