Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
