its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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