DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
