Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
