In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I pour the whiskey from now on
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
