how can u be prego again
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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