Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
