i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Alive.
So much puke
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
