Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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