I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
