i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
