You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
