He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
