just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
