It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
